


Run, Running Ahead

by bitsori



Series: Always, More [2]
Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - High School, Childhood Friends, Feelings Realization, Friends to Lovers, M/M, Mutual Pining, Through the Years
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-27
Updated: 2018-09-27
Packaged: 2019-07-17 19:34:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 17,534
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16102355
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bitsori/pseuds/bitsori
Summary: To Jisung, Minho’s a constant in his life, a fixed goal to strive for. To Minho, Jisung is everything; AU





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> [ 1 ] Set in the same universe as [What You Have Is Never Enough](https://archiveofourown.org/works/15977558) but you don't have to read that one to understand this. It functions well as a standalone.
> 
> [ 2 ] I originally meant for this to be a one shot, but I broke it down in two because of the differing POVs.
> 
> [ 3 ] Gentle reminder that I played with hyungline ages, so 97/98 liners are all the same age in this.
> 
> [ 4 ] I did a couple of read throughs, but I’m very bad at self beta’ing because I easily miss my own mistakes, especially with things I just finished writing. Apologies for any mistake you might spot.
> 
> [ 5 ] I wrote so much this month alone after like, a five year hiatus from fanficcing so watch me lose steam soon. Enjoy this before that happens, though!

  

 

 

The sun is high, and the summer heat is sizzling, but the playground is packed with children anyway. This is the kind of day it is the first time Jisung and Minho meet.

The older boy is new in town, his parents having just moved from the inner city, to the more suburban outskirts of Seoul. (“For better schooling,” apparently, but also to be closer to Minho’s grandparents who now live just two storeys below them.) Minho, at seven, is pretty small for his age and quite shy too, so he goes unnoticed by most of the other children his age and he ends up mostly sitting alone, lucky enough to have been able to claim a much coveted swing seat for himself.

Jisung is playing on the jungle gym, tiny hands and feet working hard to help push himself further up, through the bars. He’s only five, so maybe this is not the safest playground equipment for him, but the only ‘adult’ supervision he and his friends have is his pre-teen older brother, and he’s too busy flirting with some girl under the nice shade offered by the large tree that stood near the park entrance. He spots the other boy, looking lonely, way opposite the playground area once he’s halfway through the top, and just like that his earlier goal is forgotten and he promptly jumps off the monkey bars - boldly, because he’s young and he hasn’t formed the habit of caution just yet. He’s lucky, and he lands on his two feet so he doesn’t learn better, and he continues not to think too much as he dashes across the park until he’s face to face with the other boy.

“Hi!” Jisung greets, all smiles despite being out of air from his impromptu run. He bends over, hands on his knees, panting until his breathing evens out. He straightens up and repeats his greeting, “Hi!” And then he falls silent because now that he’s closer, he can’t help but stare at the new boy. Jisung has never seen him before, and he’s a little fascinated. He has big eyes hooded with long lashes, and even though he isn’t smiling, the corners of his lips are curling up in a curious manner. “You’re pretty,” he blurts out with the easy candor of a boy his age.

A look of panic spreads in the other boy’s eyes, and his grip on the swing’s chains tighten. He stays silent, but it doesn’t matter so much because Jisung keeps on talking anyway. “Do you want to play with me?” He asks. “Me and my friends,” he clarifies, before pointing at a group of three boys who seemed to be busy with each other in the sandbox.

“Uh—” The agitation in the other boy’s expression has at least subsided now, but he’s still obviously hesitant.

“I’m Han Jisung,” he introduces himself, remembering suddenly how his mother always reminds him to do as much when he makes new friends. “I’m five years old,” he adds, holding up all five fingers to supplement the information. And then he points at his friends again. “That’s Hyunjinnie, and Seungminnie— and that one,” he gestures at the boy with long face, who was also the smallest among the three. “That’s Changbin-hyung. He’s a year older so he bosses all of us around.”

“Lee Minho,” the other kid mumbles. When Jisung squints, he notices the slight smile that’s on his lips. “I’m seven.” He holds up one hand and an additional two fingers, and even though he’s surprised - he thought for sure Minho would be the same age, based on his small stature - Jisung’s entire face lights up at the revelation.

“You’re older than Changbin-hyung!” He excitedly grabs both of Minho’s hands and tries to help pull him off the swing immediately. “Guess that means you can boss Changbin-hyung around now!”

Minho doesn’t protest and allows himself to be led to the sandbox. Once there though, he remains standing behind Jisung, while observing the other three boys with curious eyes.

“Hey—,” Jisung starts, but almost immediately he’s interrupted by Changbin.

“Han Jisung! You’re still on time-out!” Changbin points out with the air of someone who has been given authority by adults, and Jisung almost balks.

“But— but I’m here to introduce him!” Jisung steps aside and nudges Minho forward. “This is Minho-hyung and… and! He’s older than you!”

Changbin steps out of the sandbox, making some sort of scrutinizing nasal noise as he stands in front of Minho.The latter is taller than him, but not by much, and Changbin still exudes a more confident air.

“Wait—” Even Minho’s tone is filled with confusion. “Time out?”

“He made Seungminnie cry, that’s why.” This time it’s the boy with the pale skin and the beauty mark under his eye that speaks up - Hyunjin. “Jisung broke Seungminnie’s jumbo crayon.”

“After he used all the crayons without permission!” Changbin quickly interjects as if he feels the need to do the explaining so he can keep being in charge.

“IT WAS THE ORANGE CRAYON!” He doesn’t exactly shout, but Jisung’s voice manages to rise above everyone else’s. He’s frowning, and he lightly stomps his foot on the ground out of sheer, childish frustration. “WHO CARES ABOUT THE ORANGE CRAYON?!”

He and Changbin stare down at each other, while the two other kids watch them with expressions of unease. Minho is confused, but he doesn’t get it so he steps away from them, and stumbles inside the sandbox to join who he deems are the two normal ones in the group. “Well,” he begins as he sits down in the sand. His voice is quiet, but it manages to cut through the shallow tension between the two sniping boys. “Jisung obviously cares enough to use orange in his drawings,” he points out.

Hyunjin snorts out laughter, and both Changbin and Jisung turn to look at him. After a second, a smug look forms on Changbin’s face while Jisung’s mouth curves down into a pout. “Fine,” the latter mumbles, stomping his foot on the ground once more, this time out of weak defiance, but other than that he actually shuts up.

“I’m the oldest one now, right?” Minho asks, still using that soft, shy tone he has despite the bossiness of his words. “So I’m officially ending Jisung’s time out now.”

The gleeful scream Jisung lets out echoes through the park, making even Minho wince. Seungmin stares blankly at Jisung, but he’s the one who reaches over and pulls Jisung back into the sandbox. Hyunjin smiles widely, and Changbin just shrugs and jumps back into the sand as well.

  
  


 

Minho and Jisung’s friendship grows easily and quickly as friendship tends to between little kids. A week passes, and then two, and suddenly Jisung is almost always seen right next to the older boy. “No fair,” Seungmin occasionally points out. “It’s only because you’re using him to get your way!” And maybe part of it is that, because just as Jisung has declared, Minho is in charge because now he’s the oldest - Changbin doesn’t even really bother putting up a fight anymore.

Jisung just obnoxiously sticks his tongue out at Seungmin whenever the latter complains, but really, it’s all moot because Minho rarely plays obvious favorites.

And then one afternoon, he pulls Jisung to the side and asks him if he wants to come over to his house to play some more.

“My mom said I can have a friend over!” There’s excitement in his eyes that’s a change from the usual calmness they bear, and his enthusiasm quickly spills over Jisung who nods happily, even jumping up and down.

“Are we inviting the others too?” He asks, glancing towards their three friends who were taking turns going down the big slide in the middle of the playground.

“Um.” Minho shrinks a little, a little guilty. “Maybe next time? My mom said I could invite _a_ friend, not _friends_ and you were my first friend here so—”

Jisung’s eyes grow wide - he didn’t even know that Minho has considered him his first friend all along, but he likes the idea. He’s _proud_ to have been the one to welcome the older boy into their little friend group. “Oh well, okay!” He doesn’t  think much of the singular invitation either. The truth is that Changbin, Hyunjin and Seungmin all live together in the same part of town - the one with the nice houses - and more than once Jisung has caught them talking about sleepovers that he never even realised were happening until after the fact. He’s never minded that much, after all he lives a bit away from them, in a family unit in one of the clustered apartment buildings much closer to the park - but still, he’s kind of really super happy that he finally gets solo time with one of his friends.

  
  


 

Minho’s family, it turns out, also lives in one of the buildings that belong to the same apartment cluster Jisung lives in. If he was any older, he’d probably figure out that this is why his older brother had made no objections to him going home with Minho after his friend’s mother had given him a copy of their address; but as it is, he just gets so thrilled about this discovery that he makes excited gurgling noises which has Minho’s mother asking him if he’s okay. “Yes!” He bellows, tiny finger pointing at the next building before they pass through the entrance. “That’s where I live!”

“That’s what your brother told me, darling,” Minho’s mother says, her tone amused. “That means it'll be easier to have you over often, then, right?”

Jisung beams; he finds that he likes the idea very much.

  
  


 

Minho’s room, much like everything else about Minho, fascinates Jisung. From his Spiderman bed sheets to his walls lined with Korean translated volumes of Slam Dunk, everything makes him curious.

“You can read these?!” He asks, going on his tiptoes so he can reach a nearby tome and open it. He squints and flips through the pages, mostly just taking in the pictures - he’s seen episodes of the animated version on TV so he’s already familiar with the story.

“Uh, my Dad’s been buying me those to help me learn to read,” Minho explains, smiling happily because Jisung’s enthusiasm is insanely contagious.

“Cool! My brother has some but he never lets me touch them!” Jisung huffs, pouting again as he tries to return the book on the shelf, only to have a little trouble fitting it back in.

“You can borrow them any time,” Minho assures him as he drops down to sit on the floor beside his bed.

“Okay!” In the end Jisung just places it on top some of the other volumes and then he bounces over to sit down next to the older boy. He keeps looking around the room, his eyes taking in everything - it’s not like he has _that_ many toys; he’s been over to Hyunjin’s before and he’s got everything from video games to legos to toy cars. Still, Minho has enough to capture Jisung’s interest and envy. He has an older brother so most of his prized possessions are old hand-me-downs.

“Do you know—” Jisung starts, only to be distracted by some curious items he spots peeking out from under Minho’s bed. “What are these?” He asks, his focus shifting just like that as he pulls out a couple of bundles without even asking if he can.

“Oh! Some things. Clothes.” Minho explains, picking one up and patting it all around. He’s beaming and he unties one of them to show Jisung the contents. “My dad’s mom sent them over from the city. New clothes to wear for school!”

“Why are they wrapped like this?” Jisung asks, taking it from him and trying desperately hard to recreate the way it was tied together just a minute earlier. He fails, though, and his frustration is easily read on his face.

Minho laughs at him, and Jisung snarls, but the older boy patiently shows him how to do a proper bundle. “There you go,” he says, grinning proudly once he’s done. “I don’t know why. My Dad’s taught me to pack my clothes like this before we moved her,” he explains, pushing the wraps back under the bed.

Before Jisung can ask anything more, they ehar Minho’s mother, calling to them from the living room. “Kids! Come have snacks,” she yells, and Jisung is immediately back on his feet.

“Snacks!” His eyes twinkle animatedly. “You know—” He helps Minho stand up, reaching for his friend’s hands with his own small ones. “One time, I slept over at Hyunjinnie’s, and his mom fed us so well. She’s the best cook!”

“Ah..” Minho chuckles awkwardly, and leads the way out of his room. “Mom!” He breaks out into a run once they step out, only stopping once he reaches the dining table so he can check what they’re being served with. “What are we eating?!”

Jisung bounces right after; he isn’t shy at all, and doesn’t wait to be told before he’s pulling out a chair and taking his place at the table. “What is this?” He asks, poking at the pastry slice Minho’s mother serves him with a fork.

“Cheesecake,” Minho’s mother explains, smiling fondly at them as both boys begin to dig into their respective shares.

Jisung is a little apprehensive at first, only carving a small piece off the tip so he can taste it. “Mmm!” He immediately perks up once he puts it in his mouth though, and soon he’s taking big, animated bites, hardly waiting to swallow a mouthful before going for another one.

Minho’s eyes are big and bright, all proud and pleased as he watches Jisung devour the slice. “Hey, maybe next time you can sleep over here, too!”

  
  


 

Two days before the summer break ends, a dark realization passes over Jisung and his friends.

“Hyung.. Minho-hyung—” Jisung says the name with the kind of distressing heaviness only a child his age could possibly muster. “He’s going to be in first grade!”

“So?” Changbin doesn’t seem to get why the sudden fuss; he even looks relieved, like for a minute he’d thought Jisung had some kind of world-ending news.

Seungmin understands though, his jaw dropping in shock. “No!” He gasps, hands over his mouth.

Jisung nods solemnly, eyes shiny with threatening tears. “He’s not going to be in kindergarten with us.”

For some reason, the statement, when said out loud, causes Seungmin to break down into childish sobs, sending Hyunjin into a panic as he hugs his best friend. He looks close to crying himself, but somehow this has the opposite effect on Jisung who’s able to actually manage and hold back his own tears.

“Stop— stop that!” Changbin berates the younger three, shaking his head and wagging a finger at them like he’s no doubt seen his older sister do before. He looks upset though, and this is the scene that Minho walks in on when he arrives at the playground.

“What’s going on?” He asks, confused, and Jisung grabs his hand and pulls him to the side while Changbin continues in his attempt to comfort the other two. “What’s happening?” Minho repeats himself, hand on Jisung’s shoulder, because now that it’s just the two of them, Jisung is once again looking like he’s on the verge of crying.

“Hyung! You’re going.. to school.. without us— on Monday!” Jisung whines, his voice breaking in some parts.

“Oh!” Minho relaxes and he actually _laughs_ , causing Jisung to snarl in annoyance. He doesn’t get why neither Changbin nor Minho seem so bothered, it’s not like they’re much older than him.

“I’ll be okay, Jisungie,” Minho assures him, but Jisung keeps glaring at him until he realises that’s not what’s the problem here. “Oh! You’re going to miss me!” Jisung gives him a petulant shove, and Minho laughs even more.

“Hyung!” He whines some more. “You’re going to make new friends and then you’ll forget all about us!”

“That’s stupid!” Minho interrupts before Jisung can go on with his rant; and then he realises the kind of word that came out of his mouth and he immediately covers it with his hands. “Sorry,” he mumbles. “I mean that’s du— silly,” he corrects himself before reaching over to ruffle Jisung’s already messy hair. “You know where I live! Why do you think I invited you over?! So you can always know where to find me!”

“Oh—” Jisung sniffles, and then he sucks in his breath. “I can come over any time?”

“Yes!” Minho sighs with exasperation uncharacteristic of someone his age; he’s grinning though, like he’s happy that Jisung even cares so much. He glances over to the rest of their friends, where it looks like Changbin’s succeeded in getting them to calm down. “And they can come too, next time,” he quickly adds.

  
  
  


 

⏩︎⏭

  
  
  


 

“Let’s form a band.” Jisung utters the words like he’s simply thinking out loud; he doesn’t even make eye contact when they first leave his tongue - instead he’s looking up at the ceiling, tracing the cracks with his eyes, while he hugs a pillow to his chest.

Middle school, and Jisung’s practically become a fixture at Minho’s home. Jisung had entered first grade after what felt like two agonizingly long years after Minho did, and despite experiencing a certain amount of milestones together (eight birthdays, complete transitions from baby teeth to adult teeth, and Minho growing a good 3 inches over one summer definitely count as some, Jisung would think), grade school had felt like it breezed by quite fast. Jisung’s fears about losing his best friend had been somewhat quelled for several years, until the older boy reached 6th grade, and Jisung was once again left behind. (“So dramatic,” Minho told him at the time. “Just go to the same junior high when the time comes.”)

At least he’s finally moved on to 7th grade, joining Minho. He doesn’t want to think about how they only have just another year before everything changes _again_ , and for now he lets himself be much more preoccupied with other pressing thoughts now, such as—

“Hyung,” Jisung calls out, rolling over to the edge of Minho’s bed so he can easily reach out to the older who is sitting on the floor next to him, open workbooks spread out in front of him as he works on his take home assignments. “Let’s form a band,” he repeats.

All he gets is a non-committal grunt in response which causes him to frown. “Hyung,” he whines, sitting up and looking over the older boy’s shoulder. “That looks boring.”

Minho laughs and finally puts his pen down before twisting his body around to face Jisung. He knows the younger boy well enough by now to recognize when Jisung’s about to act up for attention.

Jisung flashes a cheeky, self-satisfied grin once he has Minho’s full attention. “I’ll play guitar,” he announces, hand on chest, as if that wasn’t the most obvious part to this plan he has. He’s been playing for a couple of years now, since he picked it up in fifth grade, and his high school aged cousin, Younghyun - who has a band of his own, and maybe that’s how Jisung came up with this idea - taught him how.

“Chan-hyung already plays drums, right?” His hands move to drum against the air, and he makes soft thumping noises by clicking his tongue. “You think he’ll say yes if I ask?”

Minho shrugs. “Sure - you know Chan, he gives into everyone’s whims because he likes to think that’s his way of taking care of you kids.”

“Oi—” Jisung punches Minho’s shoulder, but he’s laughing. “We’re not kids. I’m no kid. We’re in middle school together now, you know.”

“Not for long,” Minho deadpans, referencing the fact that once the year ends he’ll be moving up to high school. The reminder genuinely upsets Jisung, enough to give the older another hit on the shoulder; Minho, as usual, only chuckles in response.

“Anyway—” Jisung immediately tries to shift the topic back; he doesn’t really want to talk about how agitated he already is about something that’s still a good ten months away. “I talked to Changbin-hyung already and he’s willing to front the band.” He laughs and slides off the bed, sitting next to Minho after reaching for his backpack. “Look,” he unzips and shows the older boy it’s contents, including a pile of CD’s that were obviously very haphazardly shoved in there. “He said he’s willing if we make similar music to these—” He shrugs and allows Minho to reach inside, snorting as he reads the band names on the covers. “It’s kind of noisy music, but I think we can work with it.”

“We?” Minho’s brow creases, and he quickly puts the CDs back in Jisung’s bag. “Oh no— no way! I’ll be busy with the dance club at school.”

Jisung hums, and for a quick second he actually considers letting Minho off the hook. Dance is something that the older boy picked up two years ago - roughly around the same time he started delving into music, come to think of it - and Jisung knows that it’s something that means a lot to him. He’s seen Minho dance in school programs before,  and each time Jisung had been mesmerized. But this - the band - is something is something he really wants to do with Minho, more than anyone else, especially with them going to different schools again after a year.

In the end, his youthful selfishness wins over and he continues to plead with Minho. “Come on hyung, it’ll be fun. You can do both! The band doesn’t have to be anything too serious—”

“I can’t sing, and I don’t even play instruments,” Minho protests, vehemently shaking his head. Jisung grins anyway, because when Minho gets like this, he knows he’ll eventually have his way.

“Hyung!” Jisung shifts around until he’s on his knees, facing Minho, with his hands clasped together. “Pleasepleaseplease—” He begs, lower lip jutting out into a pout. He pretends not to know but he’s rather aware that Minho can’t resist when he does it. “You can learn an instrument,” he declares, like that’s supposed to be an incentive instead of a detriment. “We’ll need a bass player anyway.”

“What?!” Minho groans and turns away, back to his homework, not really wanting to look at Jisung when he gets like this. “I have my hands full with dance and studying for my high school entrance test as it is.”

“Hyung, come on comeoncomeoncome _ooooon_.” Jisung, typical of him, refuses to let up, and he grabs one of Minho’s arms to shake on it. “The bass guitar is super cool,” he insists. “It’s what my cousin plays now and he used to be the lead guitar but he got SO MUCH COOLER after he switched. You’ll get so much cooler too!”

“I’m already cool enough,” Minho returns, but Jisung can tell that he’s very close to wearing the older boy down.

“No such thing, hyung. You’ll be even _cooler._ The coolest—” Jisung nods solemnly, like this is the most important point to make. “We can ask Younghyun-hyung to help, and then you’ll be even cooler than him.”

At this Minho snorts, but from the look he gives Jisung, the latter can tell he’s said the right thing. His cousin is someone he looks up to a lot, and Changbin has even teased him more than once about how he talks about Younghyun like the guy hangs stars in the skies. He believes it though, from the bottom of his heart, that Minho will be _great_ at it if he learns, and that he only has to say yes.

“Fine,” Minho eventually relents, a defeated sigh passing his lips. “But if my dancing _or_ my studies suffer from this I’m quitting.”

“HELL YEAH!” Jisung screeches, clapping his hands excitedly before throwing his arms around Minho to give him an elated hug. “By the time we're both in high school, we'll have become the best band!”

Jisung’s grin is practically ear to ear - he doesn't tell Minho that he probably would have dropped the idea altogether if Minho had refused.

 

(One time Changbin actually calls him out on forming the band just for Minho - who is confused, but also amused at the idea - but Jisung shoots him down and sticks his tongue out like a fucking child and tells Changbin to _shut up and be happy I let you be the goddamn frontman._

It turns out, though, that none of Jisung’s original motivations matter that much because he ends up being very good doing the music thing. He excels in writing lyrics and their sound is a little rough - but his cousin Younghyun praises him to high heavens on his lyrical prowess, and over the course of the first year of their existence alone he writes words for at least a dozen songs.)

  
  


 

•••

  
  


 

By the time Jisung is set to graduate middle school, their band has become a success. Or, at least they're as successful as a band who only plays school functions can be.

“Playing to an audience of your peers at school festivals doesn't really spell out success Jisungie,” Minho points out once. He’s not being mocking, but rather matter-of-fact.

Jisung ignores the logic in his statement though, and when after his graduation rites, a girl pulls him to the side to confess, he assumes it’s because she’s fallen in love with him and his _radical_ guitar skills.

Ryujin is tomboyish, but she’s quite and cute - pretty, even, and Jisung has knowledge of several boys in their year harboring secret torches for her. She isn’t in the same class as him, but they were in student council together once, during their second year of middle school and he’s always found her to be pretty cool.

“My friends convinced me I should come clean about this stupid crush,” is how she tells him about her feelings, which isn’t exactly the sweetest, nor is it particularly romantic but it’s a _confession_ from a _pretty girl_ , and he can’t help but be all smug and proud for it.

Like the prepubescent boy he is, he ends up bragging about it to all his friends.

“Aren’t you the same height?” Seungmin asks, and Jisung chooses to ignore him. Yes, they stand at the same level, which is less than ideal, but it’s easy to overlook - Jisung is expecting that growth spurt to kick in any time now.

“Congrats,” Changbin tells him, his voice dripping with sarcasm. “Welcome to adolescence.”

“Shut up,” Jisung retorts. “Just because you didn’t get your happy ending with Chaeyoung-noona last year!”

Changbin makes gurgling noises at the comeback, and Jisung’s smug grin grows when the older boy proceeds to max out the volume on his handheld gaming console - presumably to drown out Jisung’s high pitched rambling.

Minho doesn’t really comment until they’re all alone, safe within the confines of Minho’s bedroom.

“So how do you _really_ feel?”

Jisung is confused at first, he thought he’d made it clear that he felt good when he’d talked about the confession to his friends. “Um, happy?” He ends up sounding unsure anyway when he answers Minho, like the older’s question had him questioning himself. “I mean,” he continues, allowing himself to really think about Ryujin as a person and not just focusing on the superficiality of receiving a much coveted confession. “It feels nice, and Ryujin’s nice so— hyung, it’ll be normal for someone our age to be dating right?”

“Sure,” Minho nods, shoulder shrugging in complacence. “Even I was seeing someone for a while last year.”

At the revelation, Jisung’s eyes almost bulge out of their sockets. “What?!” He’s genuinely surprised that this is the first time he’s heard about this; something stirs inside him and his stomach starts to hurt. He thought he knew all there was to know about Minho, but more than that it felt strange - like this is something that Minho gets to experience before him.

“When did this happen?!” He demands to know when it doesn’t appear that Minho is about to freely share any more information. “How did you even meet her?!”

“Last year?” Minho shrugs again. “Why are you so surprised? There was also that sophomore when I was a freshman, remember? They both go to that girls’ high school - you know the one.”

Jisung waves his hand dismissively; that doesn’t really count, not in his mind, not when it barely lasted for two weeks, and Minho had just felt trapped by peer pressure. Plus it hadn’t been kept a secret from Jisung. Besides, this Ryujin thing is supposed to put them on level ground when it comes to dating - instead, it just it becomes more apparent that every time he thinks that Minho is within reach, he’s actually walking further ahead than Jisung expected.

“When— Wait, did you even have time?!” Jisung gets nervous; he thought Minho had spent most of his free time with him and their friends - what if all along, Minho had been romancing girls left and right when Jisung thought he was busy with his dance team?

“I didn’t.” Minho laughs, and Jisung shrinks back, embarrassed at how riled up he is. “Guess that’s why she dumped me.”

Jisung feels slight shame when he realises that this actually gives him some sort of comfort. “Wait—” His eyes grow wide when he realises something. “You got DUMPED?!” Despite being upset at being left out of this part of Minho’s life, he still feels highly insulted on behalf of the older boy. “SHE SUCKS,” he declares, even though he hasn’t even been told the name of this mysterious ex-girlfriend yet.

“Yeah.” Minho is still laughing, no doubt amused by Jisung’s reaction. “No big deal. I wasn’t that into her anyway.”

“Can’t imagine why anyone would want to dump you hyung,” Jisung mutters under his breath, and Minho just smiles at him, hand reaching over to ruffle his hair as he tends to do.

 

(For an entire week that summer he ‘goes out’ with Ryujin; rather, it’s a week between the day they make plans, and the day they actually meet up. They go to the arcade, and eat at McDonald’s and Ryujin’s alright, but at the end of the day Jisung just feels bored.

He doesn’t really hear from her after.)

  
  


 

•••

  
  


 

“I’m so happy to be here!” Jisung announces during lunch one time, during his second week of high school. He’s all smiles, grinning ear to ear as he sets his food tray down on the table that’s already halfway occupied by his friends.

“Of course you are,” Seungmin snarks. “You’re reunited again at last with your favorite Minho-hyung.”

“Well obviously!” Jisung doesn’t even bother denying it; he does have addendums though. “And Chan-hyung, and Woojin-hyung— and I guess Changbin-hyung too.”

From across the table, Changbin just snorts, already too used to being the punchline of Jisung’s jokes and not really finding it worth his energy to react all the time. Minho just watches the interaction quietly, already halfway through his sandwich. Jisung grins at his default win, and then he continues, patting the boy seated beside him. “And now we have Felix, too— so yeah, life is great!”

And he really does feel like life is at its peak; Felix is his favorite addition because it’s nice to have another boy his age; Hyunjin and Seungmin have always been a unit of their own, and Jisung’s had enough of feeling like a third wheel when he’s with them. Felix evens things out and it makes it easier whenever the teacher asks them to split into pairs in class.

“Your presence is saving me from these two nags,” Jisung declares to Felix one time when the four of them are left behind for clean up duty after class. “That’s usually what Minho-hyung does for me because Changbin-hyung is no good either—,” Jisung laughs, grunting as he lifts one chair after another to pile them on top of tables. “But now you’re here, and I don’t have to be stuck with just them doing this.”

“You’re really close with him, aren’t you?” Felix muses. “Minho-hyung, I mean.”

“Hmm.” Jisung smiles and nods.

“They match really well,” Hyunjin interjects, clearly listening in on the conversation even though he’s busy wiping the blackboard clean.

“How did you get so close when he’s two years ahead of us?” Felix asks, and for the first time in years, Jisung actually gives it some thought.

“I befriended him when we were kids,” Jisung answers, because that’s the easy truth. “But!” He grins. “I guess it’s more than that. We grew up together, so our taste in a lot of things is the same.”

“More like you developed a taste for the same things because you were always together,” Seungmin comments as he passes by and overhears the conversation.

“W-well! I mean—!” Jisung sputters in surprise at Seungmin’s sudden presence. “Isn’t that just how friends are?!”

Seungmin shrugs, and beside him Felix laughs. “I think it’s cute how attached you are,” Felix comments. There’s a certain look in his eyes, however, that Jisung doesn’t understand - like Felix is privy to something that he isn’t. He’s able to shake it off easy though, because Felix is the new kid in town, so he figures there’s no way he knows more about anything than Jisung does.

  
  


 

•••

  
  


 

Chan gets busy because he’s aiming to get into a really prestigious university, and he tells Jisung that means he’ll have to take some time off the band; and so, a month into the school year, Jisung starts stressing about this. He has all kinds of expectations he’d formed over the summer, which he’d spent working on new music - all Younghyun approved, so he’s extra proud of the new sound even though Changbin remains extremely skeptical. He figured they’ll at least have this last year, and that the cultural festival later on in the year will provide them with one last hurrah before Chan and Minho graduate.

“We need a new drummer!” He bitches and whines at Changbin and Minho, but neither of them are particularly affected. This annoys him, so he sulks for a good few minutes.

“Jisungie,” Minho says his name in an affectionate but chiding manner. “Chan didn’t say he was quitting, just that he needs more time to study. Don’t worry your cute little head about it too much.”

“But we have so much to do—,” Jisung points out. “You know I wrote all new songs this summer—” Here, Changbin grunts disapprovingly, but Jisung ignores him. Minho, on the other hand, nods - Jisung always lets him hear whatever works in progress he has. “We’ll need to learn everything!”

“Don’t worry. Trust that Chan won’t let you down.”

For a moment, Jisung allows himself to be calmed by Minho’s assurances, but then a beat later, another realization hits him. “Wait, hyung,” he turns to look at Minho, a more pronounced frown etched on his face. “You gonna quit on me too?”

Minho is quiet for a second, and even Changbin looks up long enough to wait for his answer. “No,” he says eventually. “I’ll let dance go this year.”

Changbin’s eyebrows fly up in surprise, while Jisung happily throws his arms around Minho in relief. “You’re the best!”

“You sure about this, hyung?” Changbin asks, looking concerned enough that Jisung pulls back a little, guilty of putting his own interests ahead of Minho’s. He vaguely recalls agreeing to let Minho quit if this band ever interferes with his own interests. He chews on his bottom lip nervously, and waits for Minho to answer.

The older boy simply shrugs, before declaring, “Yeah sure. I’ll do this one for Jisungie - so let’s get everyone we know to watch us when we play at the end of the year, yeah? Let’s go out big.”

The way Minho is definitively punctuating the run of their little high school band with the end of the school year isn’t lost on Jisung, but for now he focuses on Minho’s decision to stay.

  
  


 

Once Changbin leaves them to head home by himself, Jisung’s anxiety begins to build once more and because Jisung is who he is, he doesn’t hesitate to be straightforward with Minho.

“Be honest with me, hyung—” he starts, cautious as they walk together down the sidewalk. “Would you rather quit the band instead?” He tries his best not to have his voice quiver, but he’s not sure how well that works out.

“No,” Minho answers immediately this time, smiling as he reaches behind Jisung’s head to mess with his hair. He sounds more certain this time, and Jisung lets out a big exhale - he hadn’t even realised that he’d been holding his breath.

“Hyung,” Jisung sighs. “I’m relieved.”

Minho hums, retracting his hand and absentmindedly adjusts the straps of his backpack. “I can tell,” he comments softly, but waits for Jisung to say more.

“I’m scared I’ll lose you after this year,” Jisung mumbles.

Minho laughs and shakes his head. “You’ve been telling me this since we were little kids, Jisungie, and I’m still here, aren’t I?”

Jisung smiles, and nods because of course Minho is right. Still, there remains an unsettling rumbling at the pit of his stomach - like constant fear that something about this time is going to be different somehow. Jisung has no idea where it’s coming from, or why it’s such a persistent feeling.

His silence gets to Minho, who playfully bumps sideways against him, causing him to almost lose his balance and trip over the sidewalk. “Hyung!” He yells, shoving the older playfully as retaliation.

Minho grins. “I’m happy you forced me to learn how to play bass guitar.”

“Hyung— ‘forced’ is a little heavy-handed, no?” Jisung jokes, lightly shoving Minho from the side. “Let’s say I ‘heavily influenced’ you to pick the instrument!”

“Right, so—,” Minho ignores Jisung’s words and takes a large step to the side so the younger won’t be able to reach him as he continues. “You _forced_ me to learn an instrument I know nothing about, but—! But I’m glad you did, Jisungie.”

Jisung glances at him, and beams when he recognizes the sincerity in Minho’s expression.

“I’m probably quitting after this year,” Minho continues, and Jisung’s face falls a bit at that, even though he understands. “But I’m glad we had this thing together for the last few years.”

“Heh.” Jisung tries to contain his happiness, but it doesn’t work because he’s always been the type express every single thing he feels “Me too hyung. I’m happy—,” He says, nodding and practically skipping enthusiastically next to Minho. “Love you, hyung. You’re the best— no, actually, you’re the coolest! Especially when you play bass guitar!”

“Cooler than your cousin?” Minho asks, and Jisung continues to nod enthusiastically. “Now, you’re just kissing my ass,” he snorts. “But okay, keep doing it anyway.”

  
  


 

•••

  
  


 

When September rolls around, Chan insists on a triple birthday party. Felix, who still feels like he’s in the middle of settling in, insists that he isn’t that keen on parties. Jisung, however, exercises veto powers that he claims he has because _I’m the oldest of us three, so that’s that_.

Seungmin snorts, but doesn’t say anything, except Felix, for once actually tries to argue with him. “Jisung, your birthday is one day before mine,” he points out.

“Exactly,” Jisung agrees, smug. “ONE WHOLE DAY, so I’m the oldest.”

Chan wouldn’t have listened to them anyway because plans are already underway, and he declares that this is the last chance they can do something like this with all of them, together, since Felix is going back to Australia once the year is over - and all the seniors are going to graduate.

Jisung, lightweight that he is, gets drunk after drinking alcohol for the first time in his life. He wakes up early the next day, head ringing loudly. “Fuck,” he grumbles, holding his head in his hands. Beside him, Minho stirs, but before the older boy fully wakes up, Jisung is bolting upwards and running to the bathroom.

“Jisung—?” Minho, sleepy and confused, forces himself up so he can follow the younger boy. “You okay?”

The only answer given is Jisung dry heaving into the toilet bowl. Everything he ate and drunk last night are mixing and stirring inside his stomach, threatening to go back up his throat.

“Hey—,” Minho sighs and crouches down next to him, hand gently stroking Jisung’s back as the younger boy continues to retch. “Let it go,” he adds, and at that point Jisung doesn’t need to be told twice as he starts hurling chunks into the water.

“He okay?” Minho looks up and finds Changbin leaning against the doorway, looking just as worse for wear. He shrugs in response, and Changbin nods before he disappears briefly, only to return with a bottle of water for Jisung who, at the point is weakly wiping his mouth and chin with the back of his hand.

  
  


 

“Hyung, thanks for helping me out,” Jisung tells him weakly as they walk home together. He still has a throbbing headache, and he still feels weak - drinking isn’t as much fun as he thought it would be, he thinks, or at least the aftermath is hardly worth it.

He leans against Minho who simply hums in response, focusing instead on steadily supporting him while they trudge along the sidewalk; the older boy is sporting his own hangover, but it’s nowhere near as bad as Jisung’s.

“Hyung, can I pass the afternoon at your place?” Jisung asks, big puppy eyes pleading with Minho. Not that he needs them, because the latter easily gives in with a nod. “Thanks,” he sighs. “My Dad will kill me if he sees me like this.”

Jisung is pliant, and the most agreeable he’s ever been when, ten minutes later, Minho helps him get in bed.

“Thank you hyung…” Jisung murmurs; he’s still feeling exhausted, but the familiar atmosphere of Minho’s room lends a small smile to his features. “You’re the best.”

Minho snorts, and for a second he’s tempted to flick Jisung on the forehead. “Go rest, idiot,” he says. “I’ll wake you up around five.”

“Mhmm,” Jisung hums, hugging the nearest pillow close to his chest. “You’re the best hyung,” he adds lazily. “The best. My best friend— wait, no.” Minho is shaking his head, at this point hardly even paying attention to Jisung’s hungover ramblings. “You’re more than that hyung. You’re kinda more like my soulmate.”

  
  


 

•••

  
  


 

“Hyung, do you know what you want to do?”

It’s the night before Minho’s graduation and Jisung has invited himself to a sleepover at Minho’s. It’s still early - not even ten in the evening yet - but the lights are out, and both of them are huddled together in Minho’s twin sized bed, already trying to get some sleep.

Or, at least Minho is. Jisung, on the other hand, has thoughts going a mile a minute and eventually he poses a question out loud.

“Well, for starters tomorrow I want to wake up in time for my graduation,” Minho answers without even turning to face the younger boy.

Jisung snorts, because that’s a very Minho-like answer that he should have expected; still, it’s not what he wants to hear so he shakes his arm. “No, I mean— in the future, hyung. Do you know what you want to do?”

There’s  a long pause this time, and Jisung almost believes that Minho’s fallen asleep.

“Dance,” the older answers eventually, his voice small, and almost inaudible. Something tightens around Jisung’s heart as he once again wonders if he had been too selfish about Minho’s time.

“Do you regret quitting dance this year?”

The bed shifts as Minho rolls to his side to face Jisung. The room is dark, with only the moonlight peeking in through the window and faintly illuminating them, but Jisung easily discerns Minho’s features, from his beautiful lashes to the sharpness of his jaw to even the tiny mole he has on the side of his nose.

“I didn’t really quit,” Minho tells him calmly. “I quit the team at school, but I kept attending that dance studio - you know the one? The one Yugyeom-sunbae joined after he graduated last year? I joined that one and I went in most Saturday evenings.”

“I thought you were going to cram school, hyung.” Jisung frowns; yet another thing that Minho has kept from him.

“Sorry I didn’t tell you.” Minho sighs, and shifts once more, rolling over  until his back is flat on the bed and he’s able to stare at the ceiling. “I didn’t want you to worry too much about my time - and I managed it anyway, didn’t I?”

“Hyung…” Jisung trails off, feeling bad.

“Don’t apologise, okay? I cut back on dance for more important things, is all,” Minho assures him, but Jisung still feels upset; he’s not sure if there’s anything more important to Minho if he’s saying that dancing is what he wants to do with his life. And then, as if the older boy had gleaned his thoughts, he smiles and turns his head to look at Jisung again. “You’re more important than dance, okay? Besides, playing bass helped me get more accustomed to timing and rhythm and beats—”

Minho sounds like he has more to say, but he’s stopped short by Jisung who all of a sudden just throws an arm around him, and squeezes him tight.

“Ah—” Minho wheezes, and tugs at Jisung’s shirt sleeve as if to make an attempt to pull the younger's limb off himself. “I can't breathe—”

Jisung ignores him, and tightens his hold even more, almost as if he's afraid of what would happen if he lets go.

“Thank you, hyung. Thank you for being you,” he mumbles, and Minho finally relaxes in his hold.

  


(Jisung cries - more like _sobs his heart out_ \- after the ceremony and everyone makes fun of him for it.

“Oi, stop that,” Chan tells him, right as he’s pulled into a hug by the holder.

“It’s not like we won’t keep in touch,” Woojin chimes in.

“We’re literally still going to live in the same area,” Minho contributes, laughing. “You can see me anytime you want, idiot.”)

  
  
  
  


 

 **tbc** ;


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I honestly thought Minho’s part would be shorter… I was wrong.

 

 

Lee Minho is thirteen years old when he first falls in love with dancing. It happens during his first week of junior high, and he's trying to look for a club to join.

“Get some extracurriculars,” his father had advised. “Live a little while you're young.”

And because Chan had eagerly thrown himself into the world of student government immediately after being chosen as class representative only two days in, and because given his years of experience doing the sport, Woojin joining the kendo team was always a certainty, Minho ended up giving in out of basic need to do something,  _ anything _ , after school.

The original plan had been to join the library club -  someone had told him that while they didn’t really do anything, members were allowed after school time at the library. Minho figured he could sleep in there while he waited for his friends to finish  _ their _ club activities.

And then he’d casually passed by the dance room, and somehow the loud boom and thump of the beats had called to him. It’s not as if the members of the school’s dance club were particularly good, but when he found himself watching them from the doorway, there was something about the  _ movement _ , the stomps, and turns that made his muscles ache with longing to do the same.

Needless to say, when one of the seniors - Jimin, that’s his name, Minho will never forget - had spotted him and shoved an application form in his hands, he hadn’t hesitated to signed up. 

And when it turns out that he’s really pretty good at it, he starts telling people that dancing is his first love.

Except every time he says it, he’s actually lying.

  
  
  


 

The truth is Lee Minho meets his first love when he’s only seven years old. He didn’t know it at that time - obviously, he’s not the hopeless romantic type, and despite his circumstances, he doesn’t believe in love at first sight or anything like that.

He doesn’t even realise that Han Jisung is his first love until he’s seventeen; and when does, he can't even pinpoint when it  _ started _ \- by the time he knew, it was already a feeling that’s long settled in his heart.

  
  
  


 

•••

  
  
  


 

When Jisung ropes him into joining his band, it’s a no brainer, really. It might have been yet another thing to add to his already piled on plate of responsibilities, but Jisung is  _ Jisung _ and even though he’d feigned skepticism (there was a bit of fun to be had in making Jisung beg, after all), Minho was never going to let him form a band without him.

At the time he’d figured he’ll just have to do better at juggling and reorganizing priorities - he was never at the top of his class, but his grades are still above average at least. He’s never had sky high ambitions when it came to pick of universities anyway, so he was fine with taking on a new challenge even if it meant toeing the line of mediocrity with his studies.

It’s hard - harder than he expected, and when he reaches his senior year, he’s faced with a choice. It should be harder, really: the band versus the dance team. But it’s not, and he chooses Jisung in a heartbeat.

Jisung has never really said it out loud but Minho knows - he can tell how Jisung’s mind works. He wants this last year with Minho and to be frank, Minho wants it too.

  
  
  


 

It’s one afternoon during summer break - the last one before his final term of high school starts - that Minho runs across Jimin, who graduated high school that same year that Minho joined the dance club. It’s not that they’ve kept in touch after, but Jimin’s dropped by a few times over the years to check on the new members so they’re friendly.

“Minho?” It’s Jimin who comes up to him first, tapping his shoulder and flashing an easy grin when he turns to face him.

“Oh— sunbae!” It’s been a while since they’ve last seen each other, but Minho scrambles to bend his body over in a polite bow. 

Jimin laughs and waves a hand. “Just call me hyung,” he says, rubbing the side of his neck in an awkward manner. “How’ve you been? I heard you quit the club earlier this year? You having a tough time cramming for university exams?”

“Ah—” That isn’t it, not really, but Minho can only answer with a noncommittal shrug. Jimin can assume whatever he wants, it’s easier than correcting him because how is Minho supposed to say  _ no, I quit because I think I’m in love with my best friend and he wants to be in a band with me and I hardly have time for both _ without sounding completely crazy?

“You wanna go grab a bite now? Or are you busy?” Minho’s nonchalant answer to his original inquiry doesn’t faze Jimin, who goes on and shoots one more question after another. “Which university’s your first choice, by the way—”

“S-sunbae— hyung,” Minho laughs gawkishly; he’s unsure how to answer but he respects the older male enough to not want to be rude. “I’m actually on my way to meet some friends,” he regretfully answers.

“Ah, right, right!” Jimin is nonplussed, and the grin remains on his face. “I’m meeting some of the guys from the team - from my time, so I thought I’d show you as a surprise. But, hey— you should drop by at the dance studio I belong to now.” He pauses and unzips his bag, quickly rummaging through it until he manages to unearth a crumpled piece of paper. “Here,” he at least tries to even it out before he shoves it into Minho’s hands. “It’d be a complete waste for you to drop dancing completely, so come by every now and then. Schedule’s pretty lax there, and when you’re done with exams you can audition to be a full member. I’ll vouch for you.”

Minho takes the paper and finds that it’s a flyer advertising the studio in question. He skims the information provided, before smiling and folding it properly so he can pocket it. “Thanks hyung,” he says. “I’ll see if I can do it.”

“No sweat, Minho.” Jimin smiles and pats him on the shoulder. “No pressure, just come by whenever you can!” 

  
  
  


 

Truth is, Minho doesn’t think he can afford to take Jimin up on his offer; he’s already neck deep in a pool of stress, having to balance band rehearsals three times a week with daily cram school  _ and _ regular school.

And then Jisung tells Minho that he's his fucking  _ soulmate _ and suddenly the already delicate balance in Minho’s life is completely upturned. It’s like something inside him explodes; Jisung just says the words with no thought, malice or particular care. He says them because he genuinely believes them, except he doesn't realise what kind of effect they have on Minho.

Everything becomes  _ too fucking much _ to handle and suddenly Minho feels an overwhelming need to find how to be whole without Jisung.

So he goes, and the first Saturday he’s there, Jimin happily welcomes him. It turns out that he knows a few other alumni from the school’s dance team there and it becomes easy to integrate into this new team. It doesn’t feel good at first, hiding it from Jisung - and the rest of their friends, really - like it’s some dirty, little secret. But slowly, carefully, one weekend at a time - it starts to feel more exciting, like something that’s all his own.

And he realises it’s even more than that - it’s something that he  _ needs _ . More than his body craving movement, it’s something, a part of him that’s separate from Jisung, because Jisung has been with him for so long that Minho thinks he’s almost forgotten how to be without.

  
  
  


 

After he graduates Minho promises Jisung that nothing will change - how can he not when Jisung is being so sweet and honest and  _ raw _ when he confesses to his fears of losing Minho.

“It’s chronic by now,” Minho teases him, referring to the amount of times Jisung’s told him something similar in the past. And yet, he still couldn’t help himself as he takes the younger in his arms, making strong assurances about their friendship even as frustration rumbles and grows in his chest.

The spring after Minho graduates, they both find out why people are always so quick to say that promises are meant to be broken.

  
  
  


 

•••  

  
  
  


 

Minho gets into a decent enough university where he majors in Philosophy, of all things. It’s not as prestigious as the ones that Chan and Woojin (who gets into a freaking SKY university, for fuck’s sake) have decided to attend, but it’s Minho’s first choice because he wants to stay at home with his parents, and the commute to and from school is not that bad.

He’d made a deal with his parents - keep his grades up if he wants to keep dancing. Otherwise, adult or not, they were kicking him out and making him go for early enlistment.

Minho doesn’t mind; he’s used to juggling responsibilities by now. His parents have been more than loving and lenient all his life, and if they want him to get a degree certificate then he’ll give them a degree certificate.

Jisung continues to hound him a lot at first. Minho acts like he’s welcome because  _ of course _ he is. Old habits die hard, after all, and Jisung is his oldest habit. It’s funny, because it should be easier to create space between them, now that Minho is in college and Jisung is stuck still doing the same old thing in high school, but try as he might, there’s nothing Minho can do once faced with Jisung and his button eyes and full cheeks, always looking so eager to spend time with him and keep him updated him about their friends.

When Jisung gets so energetic and happy talking about how  _ Felix is back! He’s really back! And he’ll continue to be back next year! _ and  _ There’s this new freshman Jeongin, and he’s a sweet kid, it’s fun messing around with him! _ Minho just finds it hard to turn him away.

And then Jisung would excitedly talk about his music, sharing works-in-progress and new demos and lyrics he’s been working on and  _ hyung, come on listen to this! _ and Minho’s feelings only get more complicated.

Fridays, it becomes typical for Jisung to drop by uninvited, asking what the older’s plans are for the weekend. “I don’t know,” is all Minho can answer with. “Maybe I’ll go see a movie by myself.”

“With me—” Jisung quickly interjects, all smiles and genuine cluelessness that do nothing but once again help corrode the barriers in his heart that Minho’s worked on building that past week. 

“What part of  _ by myself _ did you interpret as an invitation?” Minho asks dryly, tired of having to constantly deal with this by now.

“Sssh, hyung.” Jisung shakes his head, and ignores Minho’s tone because he’s used to it and Minho’s never really meant it before. “I’m coming, it’s decided.”

“Nope,” Minho deadpans.

“Come on hyung!” Jisung laughs. “It’s decided. I decided. Because we’re one.”

What hurts more is that despite Jisung’s constant declarations of this -  _ we’re one _ or  _ we’re the same, hyung! _ or even  _ we match so well!  _  - he still doesn’t know how much his words sting Minho.

And so he begins to try harder because Minho figures that if he doesn’t at least  _ try _ , Jisung will one day be the death of him instead. 

  
  
  


 

•••  

  
  
  


“Earth to Minho.” Pale hands clap together in front of Minho’s line of vision, making a loud noise that immediately pulls Minho out of his daze. He looks up to find Dahyun, a cute girl who’s taking most of the same classes with him, and who has, somehow, got it in her head that this means the two of them are friends. She reminds him of Jisung this way, all smiles and constantly buzzing with energy, so he has no problem dealing with her; besides, it’s nice to have a study buddy to exchange class notes with.

“Hey Dahyun,” he greets her with a nod before he proceeds to empty the contents of the cola can in his hand. “What’s up?”

Minho had been sitting by himself on the steps of the sciences building, having a quick meal (cola, and a roll of kimbap he’d bought from a cart on his way to class that morning) when the girl had found him. Dahyun easily ignores his comeback and instead sits down next to him, clearly all set to pry into his business. “You looked distracted for a minute there,” she tells him, but her eyes are focused on the extra kimbap roll that was sitting on top of Minho’s bag.

This isn’t lost on Minho, who laughs and picks it up to offer to her. Dahyun happily accepts, not wasting time before she peels the tinfoil off so she can take a happy bite off one end. “So, yeah. You. Distracted.” Unfortunately for Minho, food isn’t enough of a distraction for Dahyun, either. He realizes this kind of one track mind she has - at least once something catches her attention - is something about her that also reminds him of Jisung.

“Hmm.” Minho shrugs and dusts stray rice grains off his hands and lap. “You remind me of a friend,” he tells Dahyun. This isn’t exactly what was on his mind when she’d intruded on his alone time, but it’s what comes out of his mouth anyway.

“A best friend, I hope,” Dahyun prattles on in between taking big, unrestricted bites of kimbap. He’d offer her a drink as well, but he’s all out of soda, and she has in her hand a small carton of chocolate milk anyway, that she stabs with a plastic straw soon enough. “A cute friend, yes?” She asks, before she takes a sip of her drink.

Minho laughs. Three years of high school spent surrounded only by boys have not prepared him for girls like Dahyun - not that he minds, for the most part. She’s always good company.

“Cute, sure,” he answers without much thought, and then Dahyun beams so widely that a stray, panicked thought crosses Minho’s mind - she doesn’t think he’s hitting on her, does she? The last thing he wants is to lose the only person he’s become comfortable enough with to call a friend because of such idiotic complications and misunderstandings.

“Hey Dahyun,” He pipes up, voice steady and matter-of-fact, as Dahyun takes another loud sip of her chocolate milk. “Just so you know— I’m not into you, okay?” Unless your name is Han Jisung, Minho has always been pretty good at being straightforward.

Dahyun coughs, her eyes doubling in size, obviously in shock at Minho’s words. She looks at Minho like he just grew a second head and she’s trying to figure out whether to study it or just chop it off, pronto. “Minho, w-what—?”

Dahyun, objectively, is a very cute girl - she has a cute, round face that lights up entirely whenever she smiles, and she smiles  _ a whole lot _ . She has pale skin that Minho’s pretty sure a lot of people would be envious of, plus she’s just the right size to be called adorable. 

So yes, objectively, Dahyun is a very cute and attractive girl, except— 

Except Minho doesn’t feel a single ounce of attraction towards her. Much like he’s never felt anything for the girlfriends he’s had in the past.

“I think— I think I’m gay,” he continues, and this time Dahyun almost  _ chokes _ on her kimbap as she bursts into loud laughter. Feeling affronted, he turns and gives her a Look. “What?” He asks, frowning as he feels his stomach knotting.

The truth is, this is the first time he’s ever said those words out loud, and he knows that it probably shouldn’t have been Dahyun, a girl that he’s only known for barely two months. He has friends -  _ good friends _ that he’s known his whole life, and maybe telling Jisung is something he’s not ready to do, but surely Chan, or maybe Woojin would understand. Fuck, there’s Changbin, even, and  _ he’s _ got a boyfriend of his own now and no one batted a single eyelash when he and Hyunjin started holding hands every time they were all together as a group. But for some reason, he chooses to come out to Kim Dahyun, of all people.

“What?” He repeats, this time his tone more subdued. He’s used to not caring what people think of him, but this time he’s actually  _ nervous _ . He wonders if these things - nerves, caution - are a part of growing up, because he isn’t sure he likes it too much.

“Nothing,” Dahyun says. This time, she’s the  one dusting rice kernels off her hands. “It’s just— me too. I’m gay, too.” She smiles, and it’s Minho’s turn to almost choke on his own saliva. “So don’t worry, I’m not into you either, okay?”

_ Funny _ , he thinks.  _ Life is funny sometimes. _

  
  
  


 

•••  

  
  
  


 

He meets Yoo Taeyang when the latter starts showing up at the same dance studio halfway through Minho’s first year at university.

The first time Minho watches him dance, he knows immediately that Taeyang is someone who has been dancing all his life. He isn’t far off - when Taeyang introduces himself to everyone, he reveals that he started as early as six years old.

“Minho, right?” He’s the one who approaches first, and initially Minho can only look at him with a blank stare. “Yoo Taeyang,” he pats on his chest as he introduces himself, as if he hadn’t just done a general introduction just minutes earlier.

_ Yeah, I know,  _ is what Minho originally wants to say. Instead, he only nods. He hasn’t had the best day - he’s stressed because he has two papers due in three days (one of which was worth half his grade, just to answer the question  _ Why? _ and it’s that kind of question that makes Minho wonder why the fuck he chose to major in Philosophy, of all things), and that morning his mother had asked over breakfast,  _ why doesn’t Jisungie come over anymore? _ and Minho can’t help but be stuck on those words even though an entire twelve hours have passed since.

Taeyang actually seems to be able to read the unwelcoming air, and he looks like he’s reconsidering his attempt to communicate. That makes Minho feel bad so he forces a small smile - he’s been working on being less transparent with his moods, or rather, Dahyun’s been reminding him to be more open, because _ what is college for if not opening yourself to new things? _

“Lee Minho-ssi, right?” Apparently, the tiny bit of cordiality Minho shows is enough for Taeyang to continue with his attempt to converse, so he gives in and makes an attempt to be more agreeable with a more friendly smile. “Ah, they told me we’re the same age, so we can pair up for stretching.”

“Yeah, that’s me.” He takes a deep breath and he allows himself to relax, before he leads Taeyang to a corner of the room where they can warm up together.

They’re quiet at first, as they go through the basics. Minho watches Taeyang from the corner of his eyes as they both go from knee lifts to butt squats. He realises that he’s so used to being surrounded by loud extroverts that this kind of companionable silence is new to him, and he almost doesn’t know what to do with it.

“So, do you go to school?” Minho asks, finally prompting small talk once they start partner stretches. He let Taeyang go first, so the new guy is on the floor, eyes trained at the ceiling as Minho helps him extend his right leg overhead.

“Hm?” Taeyang’s eyes flit towards him and he gives a small head shake right before they switch to working on his left leg. “No—” He laughs nervously. “ I guess you can say I’m banking my entire future on this.”

Minho leans back, placing his weight on his angles, while Taeyang sits up properly. “Your parents just let you go for it?” He’s surprised; he thought his own mother and father were as lenient as they can get, and even they demanded he get a degree in something, somewhere.

“No, not really.” Taeyang chuckles, ruffling his hair as Minho learns he tends to do, and then he gestures for them to switch places. “They were really against it, but I— well. I kinda forced things my way. So here I am.”

The simplicity of the statement earns the new guy a bit of respect from Minho. He’s not sure he’d change anything about how he’s done things so far - in fact, he’s sure he wouldn’t. His parents have always been supportive of him and his happiness, and anything that relates to his friends are things he will never regret (even though there’s probably no way he’s ever actually telling them that with  _ actual words _ ), but Taeyang’s drive and dedication is admirable, and something he feels he can strive for.

“My parents— my father, he wanted me to have a fallback so here  _ I _ am,” Minho shares, as he settles on his back on the hardwood floor. Taeyang laughs, even though Minho isn’t really trying to be funny, but Minho responds with a cheeky smile anyway. “Not sure what kind of fallback a Philosophy degree will do me, though.”

“A degree is a degree,” Taeyang shrugs, this time helping Minho with his knees. “Maybe I’ll regret my decision in  a few years, and by then you’ll have at least a certificate more than I do.”

They both laugh, but later on, when Minho sees Taeyang dance he knows there’s no way the other boy is going to regret anything. The way he moves is exquisite - powerful and sexy at once; defined in some parts, gentle in others. You can see his years of training through his movement, but also he puts in just the right amount of emotion to connect with the audience.

It excites Minho, and he’s reminded how dancing became his second love to begin with.

  
  
  


 

He’s both surprised and not when Taeyang asks him out. Not, because they’ve gotten closer from spending late nights at the studio, choreographing and rehearsing together. Minho isn’t clueless, he knows when someone’s interested. But also, surprising because Taeyang is very casual about it, that Minho feels the need to clarify,

“You mean to hang out?”

“No I mean a date,” Taeyang answers without skipping a beat, even pausing what he’s doing so he can look Minho directly in the eyes.

“Oh, okay.” Minho nods. “I figured that, actually.”

As dates go, theirs end up being quite simple: dinner and a movie. Minho’s been on more than a handful of similar dates before, except this one feels different because he’s actually… excited? Looking forward to it? Or maybe it’s simply because he’s attracted enough to his date that he even calls Dahyun to ask her for advice on what to wear. (“Do I look like a freaking fashion guru?” Is all he gets in response, together with a mocking laugh that had him hanging up on his friend before she could say anything else. Five minutes he receives a quick text message:  _ juz wear watev’s comfy. u alrdy kno u always look good. have fun! ;p) _

They do the movie first, an early evening showing of a blockbuster film that Minho’s been wanting to see. It’s a good sign - they’re obviously into the same things. And if the thought that Jisung probably wants to see it too - because they  _ always _ want to see the same things - crosses his mind, he’s quite hasty in pushing it back down, instead focusing on the way Taeyang’s hand feels when it slips into his. They’re surprisingly soft, and definitely nice and comfortable but strangely, Minho isn’t quite sure if he likes it.

For dinner, they don’t go to a fancy restaurant, but rather some local diner that Taeyang informs him is owned by a friend’s family (sure enough, they get a hefty discount despite Taeyang’s passionate objections when they’re served with the check), and for the first time since they met, they talk about everything that  _ isn’t _ related to dancing. Taeyang talks about maybe attempting to become a florist instead if the dancing thing doesn’t pan out (“Flowers are as interesting as they are beautiful, don’t you think? It’s kinda cool that each one has a different meaning. Seems fun to learn all about.”), while Minho talks about how he actually used to be the bass guitar player in a band with friends.

“Used to?”

“Not like I was particularly skilled in it,” Minho explains. “Besides, it was more a high school band… _ thing. _ I joined as a favor for a friend.”

“Still would’ve been cool to have seen you perform,” Taeyang teases.

“You see me dance, that’s performing too,” Minho points out.

“A different kind of performance!”

Minho laughs. “I’m not being fake humble, I really wasn’t that good. Our guitarist - he wrote all our music though. Most of it. He’s the talent.”

“He’s still doing the band thing, then?”

Minho doesn’t even pause before he goes on to talk about Jisung, and his music and how he’d kept producing  and writing and composing even on his own; it’s not until it dawns on him that it’s been  _ months _ since the last he’s heard any of Jisung’s works-in-progress. He trails off into silence and when Taeyang gestures for him to go on talking, Minho laughs instead before changing to a completely different topic altogether.

  
  
  


 

“So, how was it?” 

Dahyun accosts him first thing in the morning, the Monday after the date, and Minho thinks he brought this on himself by thinking she could ever be helpful for pre-date prep. 

“Good,” he tells her, even though he’s not sure if that’s the right answer. Everything had gone right, and yet he doesn’t feel satisfied.

“Did you kiss?” Dahyun wiggles her eyebrows at him as she drinks from her carton of chocolate milk. 

“Do you ever drink anything else?” He asks, trying to avoid the topic and gesturing at her beverage of choice.

“I like what I like and you’re not worming your way out of telling me all about the good stuff,” Dahyun declares, eyes squinting at him. She really thinks that makes her look menacing instead of just funny and cute, which makes Minho laugh inwardly.

“Good stuff,” Minho repeats, adjusting the strap of his backpack as they walk through the winding halls of the social sciences building. Dahyun gives her a pointed look, and he laughs again before giving in. “Fine. Yes. There was a kiss.”

“And?!” Dahyun waves her hand impatiently.

“And—” Minho pauses and sighs.  _ And what? _ The kiss was nice - Taeyang’s lips were just the right shape, and they slotted perfectly against Minho’s. They were soft, and there was just the perfect amount of tongue and teeth involved in the kiss, and technically Minho should be swooning now but— “I don’t know. It was okay. Felt good. Better than kisses I’ve had before.”

Dahyun studies him, and waits. “But? There’s a but coming, I hear it in your tone, Lee Minho.”

“But—,” He sighs again. “But I felt nothing.”  _ No _ , he thinks. That’s not entirely accurate either. It’s not that he felt nothing, it was more that he felt like it wasn’t what he was looking for.

“Oh, well.” Dahyun sighs, and then she reaches over to pat Minho on the shoulder, like she’s disappointed that Minho didn’t come out of this with a  juicier story. “Guess he just wasn’t the right guy.”

  
  


 

(The next time he and Taeyang meet at the dance studio should probably be more awkward, but Minho is Minho and the first thing he does is approach the other guy, all straightforward as he goes “I think we’ll be better off as friends,” and while Taeyang  _ looks _ surprised, when he replies it’s obvious that he’d been practicing his end of this same conversation too. 

“Agreed,” Taeyang simply says, and then just like that, as he smoothly transitions into talking about the the choreography a couple of their dance crew seniors have been working on, he proves that Minho isn’t the only one good at swerving topics.)

  
  
  


 

•••

  
  
  


 

“Hyung!” 

Minho is on his way out of a convenience store, ice lolly halfway into his mouth, when he runs into Changbin.

“Mmh—” He switches the plastic bag he’s holding from one hand to the other, before using his right to take the icy treat out. “Changbinnie!” He’s well aware how his friends have been thanks to the very active group chat they have, but it’s been at least a couple of months since he’d actually seen Changbin in person. It surprises him how much of a pleasant surprise this run-in is, because the smile that quickly spreads on Minho’s face is bright and genuine, and excitement quickly explodes from the depths of his heart. 

“You busy, hyung?” Changbin nods towards the entrance of the store. “I was gonna get snacks to eat, but if you’re free, let’s grab something more filling instead.”

For once Minho doesn’t deliberately make things difficult for Changbin, and he readily agrees. They end up at a neighborhood ramyeon shop, one they used to frequent with their entire friend group, usually after quick pick-up games of either basketball or football. The ajumma who owns the eatery is surprised to see them, but she welcomes Minho back and chides him a little about never showing his face anymore.

“So Jisung’s doing really well at school.” It’s not until they’re both halfway done with their orders, and Changbin’s already done a complete update run through on the rest of their friends, that Changbin brings Jisung’s name up. The deliberate stall isn’t lost on Minho, but he pretends not to take notice. “He’s at the top of his class, man, can you believe it?” Changbin adds with a snort and a laugh.

“Yeah?” He snorts and wipes his mouth with paper napkins. “Little shit’s finally applying himself, huh?” It’s not hard to believe because Jisung’s always been smart and so, so talented. Everything he puts his heart and mind into, he excels at, and Minho’s always known this. 

Changbin hums, and slurps his noodles some more, chewing carefully and watching Minho’s expression closely before he continues. “I hear you don’t see much of him anymore?”

Minho shrugs, his eyes dipping downwards as he pretends to be focused on his food completely. “Been busy with school and dancing.” His voice is clear, but also hollow sounding, like it’s an automated response of some sort.

Changbin sighs. “He kind implied that we see more of Chan-hyung and Woojin-hyung both, than he sees you. Didn’t really talk about it much though,” he says, his eyes still focused on Minho like he wants to drill a hole into the older’s thoughts and figure out what’s going on in there. “And Chan-hyung’s got himself a girlfriend too, you know,” he adds, almost like an afterthought being used to make a point. 

Minho doesn’t answer, except to mumble something about how  _ yeah, I know, you guys couldn’t shut up in the group chat about his girlfriend and how she has language barrier issues because she’s from Japan but oh hey she has a nice rack too!  _  while he finishes the rest of his ramyeon broth. He doesn’t really have an excuse on hand; the truth is that he’s run into Jisung here and there - hard not to, considering they live in same neighborhood. But he’s always quick to make an excuse to duck out of lengthy conversations, always quick to turn down any offers to hang out -  _ always _ quick to try and ignore how empty Jisung’s eyes have gotten from all the shoot downs Minho has given him.

“I don’t know what happened between the two of you, hyung, but it’s kinda weird not seeing you two thick as thieves.” Changbin sounds like he’s being careful unsure if it’s his place to meddle, but his concern is quite evident in his voice and his expression. “I’m sure you’re too busy to be hanging out with a bunch of us high school kids, hyung but— yeah. At least with Jisung…”

When Changbin’s sentence trails off, Minho uses the opportunity to completely turn the tables. “So, how’re things with you and Hyunjin, huh?” He asks, and he’s really so good at this kind of thing, because he knows exactly what topic to use to get Changbin distracted. The younger male gets flustered, and Minho thinks it’s adorable the way a light blush spreads across his cheeks.

“They’re grrrrreat,” Changbin answers, rolling his R’s like he’s trying to be obnoxious on purpose in order to hide the easy smile that lit his face up just at the mere mention of his boyfriend. And then he coughs, and straightens up, and once again meets Minho’s gaze. “Aren’t you jealous?”

Minho laughs - his attempt to derail Minho and catch him off guard is way too transparent for him to fall for it. “I’m happy for the two of you,” he answers instead, and he truly means it.

Changbin smiles. “Thanks, hyung,” he says, before letting out a resigned sigh. “But seriously— hyung. I’ll stop talking about it, but not before I tell you this— try to check on Jisung soon, okay? He hasn’t been himself.”

  
  
  
  


 

⏪︎ •••

  
  
  
  


 

Rewind.

It’s August and Minho’s last year of high school and the summer heat is practically unbearable. Minho doesn’t mind though, because it’s this weather that always reminds him of the first time he met Jisung (and Changbin, Hyunjin, Seungmin - but they’re beside the point).

School is on break, and as always Jisung is over, and they’re hanging out at Minho’s room, watching some anime DVD that Minho had borrowed from a classmate. The aircon is blasting at maximum setting - Minho’s mom is going to be  _ angry _ when she sees the electricity bill, probably, but the humidity is bad enough to warrant it. It’s useless anyway, because something seems broken in the A/C unit, and it’s mostly circulating warm air instead of cold.

Jisung is frequently mumbling about the weather under his breath, while Minho keeps using a paper fan to create some air. Both of them are sticky and sweaty, but for some reason they’re still sitting side by side, arms grazing against each other’s every time one of them moves even a little.

“It’s so humid,” Jisung whines. “I saw on the news it was supposed to rain but here we are with this stifling weather.”

There’s nothing special about the moment; there’s no trigger, no spring or catch release that sets him off. He just looks at Jisung, and he’s about to tell him that if he shuts up then he’ll go and get them both some ice cream except that’s not what he does.

He moves in without warning - his hand finds its way to Jisung’s shoulder, steadying him just as his lips plant themselves on Jisung’s. Jisung’s eyes grow wide in surprise, but he doesn’t resist, so Minho ignores that and instead he focuses on how he can taste the grape candy his best friend was suckling on just minutes earlier. His eyelids flutter close, and after a beat - maybe two - he senses Jisung slowly relaxing into the kiss. Minho has kissed girls here and there, but this is different - before, he had never cared enough and just allowed himself to be led along. 

With Jisung, he finds himself taking initiative; he parts his lips, and moves them slowly, sweetly. He keeps it mostly chaste, and when he pulls away, he’s out of breath anyway. Jisung is quiet, and he has a dazed look in his eyes. Minho’s cheeks feel so warm and he doesn’t know what to say either, so he stretches his arms and quickly gets on his feet.

“I’m getting that ice cream now,” he says, and Jisung just nods.

When he gets back, the younger boy’s eyes are glued to the screen.

Neither of them have ever mentioned that moment since.

  
  
  
  


 

⏭

  
  
  
  


 

Despite any pretense he might have had while talking to Changbin, his friend’s words successfully manage to drill their way into Minho’s mind, rooting themselves in place until he unconsciously finds himself walking up the pathway that led to the entranceway of Jisung’s apartment complex building instead of his own.

It’s not that late, but it’s definitely after dinner, so when Jisung opens the door, he’s rubbing his eyes open like he’s forcing himself to be awake because his parents likely told him to tend to their surprise visitor. The moment he sees Minho, however, his entire face lights up completely.

Minho smiles - he’s missed this, he’s missed Jisung’s smile and the way it puts the sun to shame. But just as quickly, the smile is replaced with a more cautious expression, and Minho knows that’s his own doing. 

“Hey, Jisungie,” he starts, only to stop there too because he doesn’t know what else he’s supposed to say.

Jisung steps out and closes the door behind him instead of welcoming Minho into his house like he would have done before, maybe. For several seconds, they stare each other quietly, but in the end, Jisung is still  _ Jisung _ and he’s the one who breaks first. “FUCK, HYUNG—” He pauses when his voice cracks, just a bit. “I MISSED YOU.”

And then Jisung is throwing his arms around him, hugging him tightly and Minho’s laughter echoes down the lonely corridor, and he relaxes because fuck his life,  _ this _ is the boy he’s missed so much. He doesn’t say the words out loud, but as he reciprocates and his own arms wrap around the smaller male’s, he can only hope that it conveys how much he feels the same.

Jisung appears to be more at ease after they pull away, but the smile that’s gracing his features just seems to be even brighter. “I don’t want to intrude or be a bother,” Minho begins, but Jisung is quick to cut him off with an exaggerated head shake.

“Never, hyung,” Jisung affirms, and Minho smiles, almost pained. He’s so damn weak for Jisung and  _ his _ smile, and it’s made even more obvious now - just one glimpse of it, and he already feels like he’s free falling in a Jisung-shaped rabbit hole and it’s scary.

“I have to go—” His walls start to build again; Jisung has no idea the effect he has on him, and  _ this _ is why it’s so hard to be around the other boy. Jisung frowns now, and Minho immediately hesitates. “I promise we’ll hang out soon,” he adds, satisfied when the frown is instantly replaced with yet another grin.

“Okay, hyung. That’s a promise, right?”

Minho nods weakly, and Jisung’s eyes practically disappear into crescent moons. 

“Good— next weekend, my cousin’s band is playing at Hongdae, hyung, and you’re coming with me.”

  
  
  


 

•••  

  
  
  


 

“Fuck.  _ Fuck. _ ” Minho is lowkey freaking out, and Dahyun just  _ laughs _ at him. “Why do you do this to me?” He asks her with a groan. “When I try to be serious, you always just  _ laugh _ and make my life difficult.” The irony of him constantly doing the same for his friends in the past isn’t lost on him - but it’s not like Dahyun knows about that so she fortunately can’t call him out on the hypocrisy.

“Sorry—” She keeps chuckling anyway while patting his arm. “It’s just that you're almost never serious, so it’s kind of cute and amusing. Let’s try this again.” 

Minho can only sigh because he doesn’t exactly want to repeat the entire saga that is his and Jisung’s life story. He glares at Dahyun who laughs again.

“Okay,” she says. “Let me get this right - it’s hard being around your best friend because you feel all sorts of—,” she makes grand, exaggerated gestures with her hands, “—feelings?” Minho shrugs, and she snorts. “But you’ve never ever thought of you know—  _ just telling him _ ?”

Minho stares blankly. He shouldn’t have expected her to understand.

“I mean,” Dahyun goes on, “It’s not like you have a problem being brutally honest with just about anyone else. Remember when you were like  _ I’m not into you Dahyun _ —” She laughs some more. “Oh! Or when you flat out told that guy in class to switch deodorants because his clearly wasn’t working for him. And okay, feelings for your best friend aren’t the same thing but what’s the worst that can happen when you’re already taking yourself out of his life like this just based on your own one-sided frustrations?”

Minho sighs and shakes his head. Put like that, Dahyun makes it seem so simple.

  
  
  


 

•••  

  
  
  


 

He’s nervous.

He shouldn’t be because this is just Jisung, and they’re just hanging out - it’s not even like it was with Taeyang, when he’d managed to confirm that it was a date. He doesn’t even really have any reason to think of it as a date. It’s Jisung, so of course they’re just going to be two friends, hanging out, like they’ve done for the last twelve or so years.

“Minho! Jisung’s here!” 

When his mom announces the younger boy’s arrival, he runs out so fast that he almost trips by his bedroom door. Luckily, his mother is too busy gushing and fawning over Jisung by the doorway (“Aigoo, I haven’t seen you in ages, have you been eating well?” She practically coos, and Minho has to stop himself from rolling his eyes; at least Jisung’s obviously loving the attention), that neither of them notice his little mishap.

“Hey.” He’s all casual as he walks up to Jisung, nodding at him before he grabs his jacket and he gives his mom a kiss on the cheek. “I’ll be late, uh—” He glances at Jisung, not wanting to be presumptuous, but he just smiles and nods, so he turns to his mother again. “So yeah, don’t wait up.”

It’s ridiculous, how easy it is to fall into a comfortable companionship with Jisung despite their months of being apart. It’s a lot of little things that prove it too, like how he automatically reminds Jisung to put his buss pass in the little pocket on the inside flap of his bag so he doesn’t misplace it (Jisung laughs, and tells him he’s actually lost two bus passes in the last few months, and Minho snorts lightly smacks the back of his head - “It’s what you get for being so careless,” he teases). Or when they get drinks from a vending machine, Minho doesn’t think to ask before he pushes the button for one cola (his) and one peach drink - Jisung’s favorite. When he tosses it over to Jisung, the boy just takes it without question, like it’s just normal for Minho to know exactly what he wanted without needing to be told.

On the train, they update each other with their lives. Jisung talks about school, and how he’s been doing so much better that the teachers are telling him to reconsider his college options, and aim higher even though he isn’t really interested. He talks about a song he’s been working on recently, and how he’s tripping all over the lyrics, but he promises he’ll let Minho have a peek at the composition the next chance he gets.

Minho talks about university, about the papers he keeps having to write, and even about Dahyun, who he promises Jisung will like and get along with. He mentions an upcoming showcase his dance studio will be holding, and Jisung gets all excited when Minho invites him to come and watch - “I can’t wait, hyung,” he practically gushes. “I haven’t seen you dance in a fucking long time!”

Pushing aside how Minho is so much more aware of every single thing the younger does now, it’s clear that they still fit as well together as they always have.

  
  
  


 

When they get to the venue - one of those little live clubs in the Hongdae area - Minho is able to immediately spot Seungmin, all dolled up and looking dandy in his collared shirt and pressed khakis. He almost laughs out loud because he’s looking so out of place in this specific crowd.

“Seungmin!” Jisung calls, waving his hand and trying to catch their friend’s attention. He turns to Minho quick with an explanation. “I’ve been sharing some of the demos that hyung and his bandmates have done with him, and he’s kind of a big fan so I gave him a spare ticket.”

“Ah.” Minho nods, his smile tight. So  _ that _ answers the hypothetical question of whether this is a date at all. Or maybe not, because right before they head over to unite with Seungmin, Jisung leans in and whispers,

“But I didn’t invite him to hang out with us after. He’s busy anyway — and it’s been so long since it was just the two of us, hyung.”

And then Jisung’s running ahead, laughing and waving at Seungmin, and Minho is glad for it because it means Jisung doesn’t get to witness the absolute relief and joy that takes over Minho’s expression.

  
  
  


 

The band is great, and Minho has to admit that Jisung’s cousin shines brightly up there on the stage together with his friends. It’s not a big venue, but it’s packed and almost everyone in the audience know their songs well enough to be able to sing along. Four out of the five members are vocalists on top of being instrumentalists, and their tones mesh so well, adding all sorts of layers to the emotional conviction of their lyrics and melody. Both of his companions practically have heart eyes as they watch the stage, and to be frank, Minho can’t blame them. 

He’d actually seen them play before, a few times when he was fifteen, mostly instances when Jisung had dragged him along with him to his cousin Younghyun’s house so he can be taught the basics of bass guitar, and they’d instead ended up sitting in on casual rehearsals. They were good then, but even better now. Minho laughs because they’re so great - so in their element that it makes it even more evident how much he and his friends had just been playing at being a band for the last few years. Jisung was the only real musical talent among the four of them, when push comes to shove.

Jisung (and Seungmin, of course) excitedly jumps along when they begin to play a particularly energetic song, and Minho happily joins in. “They got offered an exclusive contract by some label recently.” Halfway through the song, Jisung leans in, speaking directly into Minho’s ear so he can be heard even through the din of the enthusiastic crowd. “Hyung told me they signed yesterday.”

“Wow!” Minho’s impressed, and quite happy for the band even though he’s not that invested in them. He tugs at the sleeve of Jisung’s sweater and pulls him closer so he too, can be heard. “What about you— you wanna do this, too?” He truly believes Jisung can do it if he tries, that one day Jisung can be up there on stage, his name in lights, if this is what he wants - but then again, to Minho, Jisung is capable of anything and  _ everything. _

“Nah.” Jisung doesn’t answer until the song is finished, and the band starts in on the intro to the next one. “I don’t really want to play with anyone else who isn’t you, hyung—” He turns and smiles at Minho, eyes shining with happiness and delight. “Or Changbin-hyung, or Chan-hyung. I’ve got that out of my system now, but— But I want to keep doing music, definitely, even if I do it behind the scenes.” A proud smile grows on Minho’s lips, and with the band playing some kind of background music for them, Jisung continues to talk. “I think I’ve figured out that’s my thing, you know? Like Changbin-hyung with his art, and you with your dancing.”

Beside them, Seungmin is completely engrossed in the performance on stage, and he’s swaying his entire body while loudly singing along with the band and the entire crowd, either completely oblivious to Minho and Jisung’s little conversation, or just flat out ignoring them. 

It doesn’t really matter though, because as Jisung and Minho find each other’s hands, and their fingers weave together, they get completely lost in their own world.

  
  
  


 

After the live set - after they meet the band backstage to congratulate them, after they bid farewell to a gushing Seungmin, and after they make the travel back to their neighborhood - Jisung and Minho drop by a convenience store to buy an insanely unhealthy amount of snacks. To be fair, Minho tries to be somewhat reasonable about it, but Jisung readily ignores every argument he tries to make, just about grabbing every other sugary  _ and _ salty snack he can actually reach on the shelves and throwing them into a basket.

“You’re paying for all of that,” Minho declares with exasperation, but all it takes is for Jisung to flash a pleading grin at him for Minho to grudgingly fork out half the exact amount in bills and change once they’re paying at the counter. “Where are we going anyway?” He asks, stuck with carrying half their loot as they trudge out into the sidewalk.

“Just follow me,” Jisung declares, skipping like he’s some kind of pied piper leading him to the unknown. Minho hates that he finds it unbelievably cute.

The end of the line, it turns out, is a playground just several blocks away from where they live. Not just  _ a _ playground - it’s  _ the  _ playground, and Minho can’t help but laugh at this trajectory. Jisung’s already making a beeline to the slide tower, climbing the ladder and depositing himself on the top, legs dangling off the edge of the slope of the slide, but not really pushing himself off it.

Minho follows him and after Jisung adjusts his seating position; they end up huddled close - legs tucked underneath themselves, with knees touching each other’s - inside the enclosed part of the tower. 

“Are you cold?” Minho isn’t sure why he’s whispering, it’s not as if there’s anyone else around to hear the two of them, but the atmosphere somehow feels like it’s calling for hushed undertones. “It’s getting colder,” he adds, carefully going through their convenience store loot so he can take out the coffee cans they’d bought. He pops the tabs open and hands one over to his companion.

“Thanks, hyung,” Jisung answers, smiling as he takes it. “I’m fine, don’t worry,” he adds, even as he tugs at the sleeves of his knitted sweater.

The two of them fall into uncharacteristic but comfortable silence, and Minho proceeds to take out some soft bread they’d also bought, tearing the packaging open and handing it to Jisung. “This is where we met the first time, isn’t it?” He comments finally, looking around the area after he takes a small bite off his bun.

Jisung nods, cheeks too full at the moment to give an immediate answer. “Yeah!” His eyes sparkle, when he finally answers once he’s swallowed. “Feels so long ago!”

“It  _ is _ long ago,” Minho points out. 

“Mhm,” Jisung nods and hums, busily taking small but consecutive bites of bread. “We were the same height then.”

Minho laughs and pats one of his cheeks. “Don’t talk when your mouth is full,” he scolds half-heartedly. “Hey,” he starts, a more subdued expression passing across his features when he’s reminded of something else. “Sorry we didn’t celebrate your birthday together last month.” It’s the first time they haven’t, not since they first met at this same setting all those years ago.

It looks as if Jisung deliberately slows down his chewing so he can process an appropriate response better. “It’s okay hyung, at least you didn’t forget,” he mumbles in referral to the half-assed birthday call Minho had given him on that day.

“Did you have fun?” He asks, even though he doesn’t really have to. He saw the pictures on Facebook that same day. He’d shared a cake with his fellow September celebrants, and he knows even Woojin and Chan had been able to make the impromptu party.

Jisung nods, even though his expression looks more wistful than anything. “Jeongin got us some really delicious cake—”

“Jeongin?” Even as he asks, he vaguely remembers brief mentions of the new addition to his friends’ friend group at school..

“Freshman,” Jisung reminds him. “Woojin-hyung’s friend— Mostly Felix’s now though, I guess, since Woojin-hyung isn’t at school with us. Anyway, his parents run a bakery.”

“Ah, right.” Minho nods. “You know, you’re welcome to ignore my birthday as much next week,” he offers, his smile teasing despite the half-truth in his voice.

“What?!” Jisung actually laughs and shakes his head vehemently. “No way. I’ll gladly welcome myself to your cake, hyung! I mean— if you let me.”

That he even has to clarify like that, when he’s been doing the same thing for years before without so much as an explicit say-so from him has Minho ducking his head in implied apology. “Okay,” he nods. “You’re welcome to all the cake I’ll have on that day.”

Jisung beams and they fall into another bout of silence as the younger continues to finish the rest of his bread. Under the moonlight - with only the faint street lights littered around the park to supplement it - when Jisung adjusts the cap on his head, Minho finally notices the silver stud that glitters on his left earlobe. He finds his hand reaching out to touch it, fingers gently grazing against the shell of Jisung’s ear, before he can stop himself.

“You still have it,” he comments. It makes him smile; the earring is half of a pair they got and shared when they’d gotten their first piercings together, roughly two years ago. They never were able to wear them at school that much because it was against school regulations, so he hadn’t even thought of checking for it on Jisung’s ears.

The younger boy smiles and gestures towards Minho’s own ear. “So do you, hyung.”

“Of course.” Minho tugs at Jisung’s ear before taking his hand away. He feels a mixture of all kinds of feelings combining and bubbling up from within him. Memories of the last twelve years start to play in his head like some kind of cheesy montage, blending in with images of what can be, if he actually manages to get a hold of himself.

Before he can say anything, though, Jisung beats him to speaking. “I missed you, hyung.” There’s a hint of sadness and uncertainty in his tone, like he’s scared that after tonight he’s going to have to go back to missing Minho again. “I missed you so much.”

“I—,” _ I like you, Jisung,  _  he starts to say but he bites the words back, because that doesn’t really sound right. He’s long past just  _ liking _ Jisung at this point. It’s been so long, and the depth and form of his love has changed a lot over the years, but here he is now, and love  _ is love _ , so that’s what he says instead,  _ finally. _ “I love you, Jisung.” A beat, a skip, and then— “I’m in love with you.”

He feels a warm flush spread across his face, but maybe it doesn’t matter because he’s watching Jisung closely, and even with their dim lighting he can tell that the younger male is just as red. He wonders if they’re too young for him to be throwing the words around so easily - or if it’s too soon, and too much at once. But he figures this is him, and this is Jisung, and it’s already taken this long for these feelings to sort themselves out.

“H-hyung..” Jisung croaks out, sounding both hoarse and nervous at once. “You know, I was really hurt when you just… stopped— I don’t know. Talking to me? Being my friend?” He shakes his head, because it’s not that. Minho still did the bare minimum, enough to be called a good acquaintance at least. “It hurt when I lost you by my side. I had no idea what I did wrong.”

Minho reaches over and squeezes Jisung’s knee. “It’s not— None of it was your fault. I was just having a hard time with my feelings, and I didn’t want to impose them on you.” He ducks his head and pulls his hand back once more. “You weren’t ready,” he adds.  _ I wasn’t ready, _ he thinks. “And there just came a point when every single thing you did just— just sent my senses on overload and it was  _ hard. _ ”

Jisung gets all choked up and Minho leans in, hand reaching out to gently hold the younger by the neck. “It’s not your fault,” he tries to assure Jisung. “It’s not like I made myself clear at the time, so you didn’t know any better.”

“I’m sorry, hyung,” Jisung mumbles. That he hasn’t said he feels the same - it isn’t lost on Minho, who smiles sadly and lets it settle in his gut. 

“It’s okay,” he says once more. “I’m here now. Best friends.”  _ Soulmates _ , he thinks, Jisung’s words from the past echoing in his head.

“No— no, hyung.” Suddenly Jisung’s voice sounds firmer, and he’s looking up, meeting Minho’s gaze directly with some kind of newfound determination. “I’m only sorry I was clueless for as long as I was—” He sighs. “You were always walking ahead, hyung. You were always doing things before me, discovering things ahead of me but…” His lips curl up, forming a shy smile. “But you know you only ever had to give me time to catch up.”

Minho blinks, uncertain if Jisung is saying what he thinks he’s saying. The younger laughs at Minho’s bewildered expression, and this time, he’s the one leaning in until their foreheads are touching. “I love you too, hyung,” he whispers. “I’m in love with you too.”

It’s like fireworks explode in his chest the instant Jisung says those words, and Minho doesn’t wait a second more before he’s pulling Jisung in and their lips are touching, fitting together perfectly. He pours in years of pent up feelings and frustration into that single kiss, and he allows himself to feel joy when it becomes obvious that Jisung is doing the same.

“I love you, hyung,” Jisung repeats, when they both have to pull away for air just mere seconds later. “Don’t disappear anymore.”

“I won’t,” Minho whispers, his lips gently brushing against Jisung’s, while his nose nuzzles his cheek. “I’m here. I’m yours.”

  
  
  
  
  
  


 

 

_ fin. _

**Author's Note:**

> [ 6 ] Fun Fact: This AU was born from me originally wanting to write Minho and Jisung as kids lol. Yes, kids!Minsung was drafted even before that Changjin(/Lix) fic was born, lmao.
> 
> [ 7 ] Did you catch all the easter eggs? Ha. also, Taeyang is SF9'S main dancer but if you're unfamiliar, just consider him to be some random OC.
> 
> [ 8 ] I have a few more stories set in this universe that I have in mind, but we’ll see if they come tro fruit. I think I need a little break. I hope you’ve enjoyed this and the other one though! Any form of comment or feedback is appreciated!
> 
> [ 9 ] [@hanknowright](http://twitter.com/hanknowright)


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